Ardy Grows

The journey from 9 pounds to 90 kilos wasn’t as easy. Initially it involved getting up at 5 am, eating, sleeping, eating more and sleeping more and so on. Ardy had the time of his life. Yet all too soon it was all over!

The enemy strikes!

It was when Ardy was 8 or 9 when Ardy was a little ill. And Ardy’s mom took him to a doctor! Today it is well known that Ardy always recovers by himself, but his mom didn’t know that. Worse still she did not know that the doctor was an agent of a secret terrorist organization involved in research of bio-chemical weapons. [According to the library of the congress, Afghanistan-Iran-Iraq research desk, this was the first recorded bio-chemical weapon usage in the history of mankind. - Chronicles of Ardy, Ardy Research Unit]

It was on that windy, stormy night, that Doctor Z injected into Ardy’s blood a strange serum that was meant to modify his DNA stunt his growth – er sort of stunt his growth – metaphorically at least. The serum modified Ardy’s DNA and reduced his metabolism rate to alarmingly low levels resulting in weight gain.

Growth Pains…

The weight gain was no gain rather it was a big pain. Research by scientist showed that this weight gain violated the Law of Mass balance. Eating 150 grams of food per day increased Ardy’s weight by 15000 grams. Apparently Ardy’s body was converting 100 calories worth of food into 1000 calories, a process that has baffled many a scientist to date.

[Even as you read this, World Food Organization and NASA scientist are collaborating on this investigation, hoping to solve the problem of global malnutrition and food supplies on space programs in one single discovery. - Chronicles of Ardy, Ardy Research Unit]

and Gains…

Ardy meanwhile, exercises 2 times a day, burns 1000 calories in each session, and prays that it is more than corresponding food intake. People have described Ardy fat, athletic, strong, slim, paunchy, healthy, trim and regular at various points in time. And yet, there are also people who say “Ardy has not changed” – they are lying – either to protect Ardy’s identity or trying to get Ardy into trouble!

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